Blond Jokes 4 Feelings at the Oak Tree
by Stormshadow13
Summary: In which Krad fights with a tree and Dark tells more blond jokes.


Blond Jokes 40

By Stormshadow13

Disclaimer: If I owned there would be blond jokes in the show.

AN: I would like to say that this is not my personal opinion of blonds. Thank you. I'd also like to thank Feline Jaye for the blond jokes website, CelloSolo2007 for the blond jokes and Domini-chan for the other blond joke, it's a little to long but I love it! And then The Lantern for helping me decide on a title.

xxx

It was a peaceful and quiet night...

"DARK!"

_AN: sorry, I lied._

The furious shriek tore through the night like a hot knife through butter.

The Great Phantom Thief _Dark Mousy_ barreled through the starry night sky laughing joyfully with a thoroughly pissed blond hunter in hot pursuit. The Kaito dropped down out of the sky into the woods, whizzing past trees at brake neck speed. He glanced quickly back over his shoulder to make sure the blond was still following him. Krad was actually closer then he'd been up in the open air. The thief smiled to himself, _`That's right my other half, just you keep following me.`_ Dark flew strait for a large old oak tree and swerved at the very last possible second. He winced inwardly as he heard the result of Hunter vs. Tree from behind him.

The Kaito twisted in the air just in time to see his counterpart tumbling towards the ground. He winced again as Krad landed in a rather ungraceful and undignified heap of white and gold on the forest floor. He hated to have to hurt the object of his affections like this, but he wanted to seduce his angel of light, not be killed by him. Dark watched his opposite closely, after a few moments of no signs of movement from the blond. He dropped silently to the ground kneeling next to Krad and rolled him over on to his back.

The blond's eyes were closed and his body was relaxed. The thief murmured a spell under his breath running his now glowing hand gently over Krad's head, face and neck. A number of minutes passed before Dark sighed in relief. His hunter didn't have a cracked skull or a concussion, he was just going to have a nasty head ache when he regained consciousness. Apparently the impact with the tree had knocked Creepy Boy out too so that was why Krad wasn't transforming back into his host. Dark pulled the ice demon into his lap stroking silky blond hair as he leaned back against the undamaged and very smug oak tree.

_**Flash back, to earlier that night.**_

"So my other half, how do you confuse a blonde?" chuckled Dark dancing just out of his light counterpart's furious reach. "You put them in a round room, and tell them to sit in a corner.

Krad skidded on the slick tile floor, regained his balance and flung himself once more at the Kaito. He had had enough of the black angels smartassery. He, was going to kill him! And tare the Kaito's body in to little tiny peaces that he was then going to incinerate.

Dark cackled in glee as he yet again alluded the grasp of his blond hunter. "Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes?"

Krad flung a deadly glowing feather at the loudmouth but the Kaito avoided it with seeming ease.

"Because they go answer the door." Dark spread his great black wings and jumped over his startled opposite's head landing gracefully behind him. He quickly moved forward placing one hand against Krad's back and tangling the fingers of the other hand in the ice demon's long blond pony tale. "How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?"

Krad twisted and turned hopping about in a rather comical manner trying to get his thieving self from behind him so that he could blast the other but Dark stayed right with the blond preventing him from turning. The hunter kicked back at the other with his left foot but this too failed for Dark sidestepped the kick and nudged the blond in the back of the right knee. Krad squawked and fell to the museum floor with the Kaito a top him.

"You knock on the door." Dark caught the hunter's flailing left arm and twisted it up behind his back while he tugged lightly on the handful of silky sunshine.

Krad yelped as Dark tugged a little more on his hair. He arched his back and neck trying to relieve some of the pressure on his scalp. He was glad that he'd forced his tamer to the back of his mind, he really didn't want to have to put up with the Brat making smartass comments as well as him seeing this little weakness of his.

Dark chuckled softly, who'd have thought that the fierce ice demon would have a sensitive scalp. The Kaito was glad that Daisuke was currently sleeping like the dead in the back of his mind. He really didn't want his host to hear the conversation that he was going to have with his counterpart. He leaned down murmuring close to a pale ear. "What do you see when you look directly into a blonde's eyes?"

Krad snarled.

"The back of their head." Dark smiled and pecked his counterpart on the cheek then he released his grip on the blond and leapt to his feet.

The hunter turned like a striking cobra launching his body upwards and slamming into his other self.

"Awe Kraddy, I didn't know you cared." Dark smirked at his fuming hunter. He was now suddenly pinned to the wall by the blond's body.

Krad's eyes glittered in glee, "you die tonight Kaito."

Dark cocked his head still smirking, "but what if I don't want to die Kraddy-kins.

The hunter stiffened. "What did you just call me?"

The Kaito chuckled, "what's wrong? You don't like it?" He saw a flash of something, apprehension, maybe, in amber eyes but before he could be completely positive of what he'd thought he'd seen it was gone replaced with a cold mask of rage.

"Don't you ever call me that again." hissed the blond in fury.

"Why not? You know lovers have affectionate names for each other."

Krad's fingers dug into the thief's shoulders making him wince. "I, am, not, and, will never be your, lover!"

Still smirking Dark pressed his body against the hunter's; he leaned closer and whispered seductively into a pale ear. "You know that we belong together, after all, we are two sides of the same coin. So why do you fight me?"

Krad recoiled from his counterpart like he'd been struck in the head with a board. The blond stared at the thief in horror and confusion while the only thought in his head was, `_oh hell no! It's the same thing he said in my dream! _

Dark chuckled as he started to advance on his now ashen faced prey, with each step that he took forewords the blond took one step back. Dark smiled at the uncharacteristic behavior of the hunter; he was just so adorably cute when he was confused and uncertain.

Krad was finally forced to stop his retreat from the Kaito when his back hit the museum's far wall. In a flash Dark had lunged forewords pinning the hunter to the wall and grasping both of his slender wrist in one hand.

Amber eyes narrowed, "Let, go."

"But I like it here."

"I don't care! Let go!"

"No."

"Let go! Let go! Let go!"

"Now, now my beautiful seraph, aren't you a little old for a temper tantrum?"

"I, hate, you."

Dark smiled as he pressed his lips to the hunter's neck breathing in the sweet sent of the blond's skin. He turned his head just a little murmuring into the pale neck, "why? Why do you hate me so much my other half? And be honest beautiful you don't give a damn about me stealing the other Hikari Artworks." He gently kissed his way up the blond's milky neck pausing to nibble at the tender skin between jaw and ear. "why do you." Dark hesitated, "fear me?"

Krad attempted to jerk his hands free from the Kaito's grip but the purple haired man held on. "I don't fear you!" spat the blond in fury. "I…" He was cut off as his opposite pressed their mouths together. _No Way! Not this time!_ He clamped his lips together refusing to give the other access to the confines of his mouth. The hunter was so preoccupied with his struggles to keep the thief from French kissing him he never noticed the Kaito's free hand worming its way past the layers of his clothing until tan fingers brushed against his bare stomach. Krad jumped yipping in Mingled surprise and indignation.

That yip was all Dark needed to invade his counterpart's warm mouth while his fingers continued to glide over soft skin. He finally pulled back from the kiss observing his opposite's face. The blond was flushed, panting and didn't look happy. Dark sighed pulling his hand from the hunter's clothes and placed it under his chin as he peered into angry golden eyes. "Why are you always so angry with me? Is it because I make you feel things that frighten you?"

Krad flinched unwilling to admit even to himself how close the Kaito had come to the truth. But before he could come up with anything to say his other half was continuing.

"You know that it's a natural instinct to attack and hate things that frighten us but my other half you don't need to be afraid of me. I'm not going to hurt you." Dark brushed blond bangs from his light self's eyes and kissed him gently on the cheek. For just a moment Dark thought he saw his blond angel's eyes fill with the desire to be loved, to not be lonely anymore and have someone care about him but then those emotions were buried and covered by a mask of anger, and hatred.

"Get, off, of, me," Krad annunciated each word slowly and carefully mussels tensing preparing to start to struggle.

Dark sighed mentally fine, if his other half wanted to be stubborn and refuse his feelings. He would be just as stubborn and persistent in chasing the blond. He smirked, "If you insist Kraddy-kins." He leaned in pecked his counterpart on the lips and let go, darting away.

Krad stood there for about three whole seconds completely shocked that the thief had actually let him loose. Then he lunged at the purple-haired man with a shriek of fury fingers crook into claws and murder in his eyes.

Dark smirked and avoided his counterparts lunge with ease dancing around the blond which seemed to make Krad all the madder. The Kaito childishly stuck his tongue out at the Hunter, "come on goldy-locks you've got to do better then that to catch me."

"When, I, catch, you," snarled Krad through clinched teeth leaping for the Kaito. "…"

"We're going to have wild sex in the woods and after that we might have more sex." Said Dark cheerfully before his opposite could finish his threat

Krad stumbled when he landed and actually turned a light shade of pink at the black angel's suggestion. He opened his mouth to say something but no sound came out. Probably for the first time in his centuries of life Krad had no words to come up with a reply.

Dark cocked his head, "awe, I embarrassed you." Then he smiled backing towards the window. "You're really cute when you're embarrassed and as much fun as I've had tonight I've got to get the Liri No Kiati home. Love you bye." He turned and dove out the window.

Krad stood their for about two seconds before he charged after his counterpart determined not to let the Kaito make a fool of him this night.

**End Flash Back**.

As Dark threaded his fingers through strands of silky sunlight he closed his eyes singing softly to his hunter.

_**When you feel all alone  
And the world has turned its back on you  
Give me a moment please **_

_**To tame your wild wild heart…**_

Dark blinked his eyes open as he felt the hunter shift in his lap. The Kaito sighed softly and began to untangle his fingers from the soft blond hair. He then carefully shifted laying his counterpart gently onto the ground. Dark reluctantly got to his feet and looked down at his angel. "Maybe some day you'll let me do that when you're awake." He sighed sadly and quickly duct into the woods watching the blond.

Krad shifted groaning softly as he rolled over to his side. After a minute of just laying there the blond managed to struggle to his knees and then to his feet where he stood swaying for a moment. He took an unsteady step forward spreading his wings and somehow floundered into the sky nearly flying into a few tree branches on his way up.

Dark waited for a moment before he to took to the sky following his opposite at a discreet distance. He made sure that that his blond angel got back to Creepy Boy's place before he turned heading for the Niwas.


End file.
